Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
