I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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