i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She needs sedatives and a leash
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
