so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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