I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
