I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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