Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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