who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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