I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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