I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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