Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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