Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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