naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
