just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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