he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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