someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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