we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
