And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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