She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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