question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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