with your own penis?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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