But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
whose ass print is on the piano?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
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