you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize