and she was petting her beer can
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
