I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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