Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I love having hate sex.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
