i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
