If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
