Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
should my penis look like a turkey
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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