Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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