she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
