there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
