Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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