She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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