they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
