My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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