MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
