its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
