im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
