just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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