Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
