she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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