Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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