Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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