thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
