Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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