Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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