biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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