On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
