Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
