Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
