last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize