i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize