I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
