Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
