my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
