please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize