Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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